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Monday, December 13, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
online
I'm watching to catch a predator and one of the men said something that struck really true with me. He said, "I would never do that, I would never do it in offline."
How true a statement. Online life allows people to be and do things that they would never do in real life. A sexual experience with a stranger, a random moment of vindictiveness when we tear something apart in the comments section, stalking. The internet gives us many different ways to explore any concept when in the past we were much more limited and if we wanted information that was taboo or embarrassing then we were forced to either remain ignorant or ask someone. Most times things were ignored rather than spoke about so the world remained in a sort of ignorance about things they might be interested in. Enter the computer and the world wide web. Information on any topic was suddenly available, easy and best of all, confidentially.
Now knowledge is a great thing in most cases, but when giving a direct link to a way to feed secret fantasies obsession can't be far behind. Once someone is obsessed they suddenly may find themselves able to do things in "real life" that they never considered.
Honestly, almost everyone you and I know have semi "stalked" someone in traditional terms. Even if it's just an actor or friend. When we google people and research them and learn about their lives online that's a form of stalking. Don't agree with me? That's fine, you don't gotta. However I did say traditional terms, meaning that you took the time and energy to hunt down multiple sources of information on the person. Including but not limited to public records, pictures, and networking sites, granted all is available at the press of a key!
Now teen sex might be a great example. With sexting and other forms of cyber sex going on is it any wonder that they're not only having sex younger and younger, but becoming much more open about the situation? When I was younger (and I'm sure my mother would say the same thing) we didn't talk about sex unless we hadn't had it. Virgins were allowed to talk about sex all the time, bragging about it and such, but those who actually had sex kept silent about it. It was taboo, one didn't brag (probably because it wasn't really brag worthy anyway.) However look at any myspace female profile and you'll probably see something about 1) bi sexuality 2) provocative / under dressed pictures.
Just a thought.
How true a statement. Online life allows people to be and do things that they would never do in real life. A sexual experience with a stranger, a random moment of vindictiveness when we tear something apart in the comments section, stalking. The internet gives us many different ways to explore any concept when in the past we were much more limited and if we wanted information that was taboo or embarrassing then we were forced to either remain ignorant or ask someone. Most times things were ignored rather than spoke about so the world remained in a sort of ignorance about things they might be interested in. Enter the computer and the world wide web. Information on any topic was suddenly available, easy and best of all, confidentially.
Now knowledge is a great thing in most cases, but when giving a direct link to a way to feed secret fantasies obsession can't be far behind. Once someone is obsessed they suddenly may find themselves able to do things in "real life" that they never considered.
Honestly, almost everyone you and I know have semi "stalked" someone in traditional terms. Even if it's just an actor or friend. When we google people and research them and learn about their lives online that's a form of stalking. Don't agree with me? That's fine, you don't gotta. However I did say traditional terms, meaning that you took the time and energy to hunt down multiple sources of information on the person. Including but not limited to public records, pictures, and networking sites, granted all is available at the press of a key!
Now teen sex might be a great example. With sexting and other forms of cyber sex going on is it any wonder that they're not only having sex younger and younger, but becoming much more open about the situation? When I was younger (and I'm sure my mother would say the same thing) we didn't talk about sex unless we hadn't had it. Virgins were allowed to talk about sex all the time, bragging about it and such, but those who actually had sex kept silent about it. It was taboo, one didn't brag (probably because it wasn't really brag worthy anyway.) However look at any myspace female profile and you'll probably see something about 1) bi sexuality 2) provocative / under dressed pictures.
Just a thought.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
While writng about how much I love the Earth a centipede crawled on me, I can't stand them and am so freaked out
I'm feeling antsy, like it's time to go. Time to change everything again, just up and go. However, unlike the rest of the times I've gotten this feeling an opportunity hasn't presented itself as of yet. I'm afraid I've missed it, or perhaps I've just wasted too many chances. Not sure.
I'm being hit by a new obssession as well, I must be PMSing. I know it's sexist to say that, even against one's self, but I get it really bad as far as mood swings and I know better than to trust any wild ideas right out of the bag.
I'm considering trying to do something in green energy, perhaps evening moving towards a job in that kind of field. I feel stuck here though because I am going to college here. I don't want to lose the in state tution here by moving. I'd never be able to afford going to school anywhere.
And besides, I though I wanted to be a teacher, this is a new idea totally. Actually I should go on the site and look at the courses, maybe they have something in a green field type of thing... That isn't nearly as secure as teaching. Crap, I like safe and secure, but I also really like to stretch my curiousity. Anywho, I'm looking into things where I can move somewhere and work on a wind farm or something. Is that strange, well of course it is, but any stranger than anything else I've done or thought of?
When I was 17 I needed to get out of my life. I was a high school drop out and I needed a new chance. Within a week of hearing of job corps I moved to Vermont for the year and lived in a dorm. I lost everything I left at home when less than a week after I left, my mother lost the apartment and was evicted.
When I was 20 I moved again, this time to a new state. I did ok, well actually not really ok, but average for the area. Eventually however I got the itch and I left my boyfriend of two years (we never even fought before I decided to leave, at least not about much.) and the beautiful apartment and moved again. Now here I am, stuck. I got a record now, something I didn't think I would ever do. It was really dumb.
But now I'm having trouble finding any kind of job, and a lot of it is my confidence. With a record and knowing they can ask me about that, I just can't seem to be the person who "knows they're the best for this job and you'd be a fool not to hire me!" which is how I usually get jobs.
I mean, honestly, I have ever reason to believe that. As long as we're talking jobs here, not careers. I can step into any resturant or convience store and quickly learn the job. I learn new tasks well and quickly, normally finding ways to shorten the time it takes without lessening effectiveness. I'm a great person to handle customers, I smile a lot and have a good phone voice. I'm cheerful and fairly intelegent. There is no reason in the world that you wouldn't want to hire me, except of cource that I messed up.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I'm feeling very strange. Very restless, I feel the need to do something, anything. I have no idea what. I've started writing again, thankfully. Maybe I can get something published or something along those lines. I need to find direction, I need a way to point my energies. I'm just not sure what I'm doing. There's an oppurtunity knocking, I can hear it, I just can't find the damn door! I'm afraid I'm missing it, that I'm not going to make it there in time. I have no idea what the hell I mean though, so don't ask me to explain it. The best I can say is that opportunity isn't just luck. You need to be in the right place to find the door, you need the right keys *skills, knowledge, or experience* to unlock the door, and you need the courage and perhaps foolishness to walk blind through the door. It's not an easy business, though normally people only notice it when they get "lucky" enough to open that door. It's not luck, it's just preperation.
So where is the door? Am I PMSing or should I really be looking more into this green stuff? I find myself just worried about the world, about everything to do with it. Perhaps it's my own fear of death (for it tends to visit my family young) that makes me afraid. Come on though, everything is being torn down, corrupted, or genetically altered at this point. The world is going to, at the very least, go through some serious problems and change as a result. Huge amounts of animals (high percentage of mamals like ourselves and ocean life important to surviaval) are going extint. We're causing a horrid effect, and it's like smoking cigs. The world isn't going to stop and pay attention until they have cancer and are dying. Too late to save themselves they'll finally try anyway.
I want to be alive. If acid rain plunders the land and clouds black out the sun and all the life in the first mile of the ocean dies and we're left with mainly reptiles with only a few groups of humans spread out around the world, I want to live. I want to be someone important enough, with enough statis, and skills to live.
If Greg finds this he's laughing at me
I'm being hit by a new obssession as well, I must be PMSing. I know it's sexist to say that, even against one's self, but I get it really bad as far as mood swings and I know better than to trust any wild ideas right out of the bag.
I'm considering trying to do something in green energy, perhaps evening moving towards a job in that kind of field. I feel stuck here though because I am going to college here. I don't want to lose the in state tution here by moving. I'd never be able to afford going to school anywhere.
And besides, I though I wanted to be a teacher, this is a new idea totally. Actually I should go on the site and look at the courses, maybe they have something in a green field type of thing... That isn't nearly as secure as teaching. Crap, I like safe and secure, but I also really like to stretch my curiousity. Anywho, I'm looking into things where I can move somewhere and work on a wind farm or something. Is that strange, well of course it is, but any stranger than anything else I've done or thought of?
When I was 17 I needed to get out of my life. I was a high school drop out and I needed a new chance. Within a week of hearing of job corps I moved to Vermont for the year and lived in a dorm. I lost everything I left at home when less than a week after I left, my mother lost the apartment and was evicted.
When I was 20 I moved again, this time to a new state. I did ok, well actually not really ok, but average for the area. Eventually however I got the itch and I left my boyfriend of two years (we never even fought before I decided to leave, at least not about much.) and the beautiful apartment and moved again. Now here I am, stuck. I got a record now, something I didn't think I would ever do. It was really dumb.
But now I'm having trouble finding any kind of job, and a lot of it is my confidence. With a record and knowing they can ask me about that, I just can't seem to be the person who "knows they're the best for this job and you'd be a fool not to hire me!" which is how I usually get jobs.
I mean, honestly, I have ever reason to believe that. As long as we're talking jobs here, not careers. I can step into any resturant or convience store and quickly learn the job. I learn new tasks well and quickly, normally finding ways to shorten the time it takes without lessening effectiveness. I'm a great person to handle customers, I smile a lot and have a good phone voice. I'm cheerful and fairly intelegent. There is no reason in the world that you wouldn't want to hire me, except of cource that I messed up.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. I'm feeling very strange. Very restless, I feel the need to do something, anything. I have no idea what. I've started writing again, thankfully. Maybe I can get something published or something along those lines. I need to find direction, I need a way to point my energies. I'm just not sure what I'm doing. There's an oppurtunity knocking, I can hear it, I just can't find the damn door! I'm afraid I'm missing it, that I'm not going to make it there in time. I have no idea what the hell I mean though, so don't ask me to explain it. The best I can say is that opportunity isn't just luck. You need to be in the right place to find the door, you need the right keys *skills, knowledge, or experience* to unlock the door, and you need the courage and perhaps foolishness to walk blind through the door. It's not an easy business, though normally people only notice it when they get "lucky" enough to open that door. It's not luck, it's just preperation.
So where is the door? Am I PMSing or should I really be looking more into this green stuff? I find myself just worried about the world, about everything to do with it. Perhaps it's my own fear of death (for it tends to visit my family young) that makes me afraid. Come on though, everything is being torn down, corrupted, or genetically altered at this point. The world is going to, at the very least, go through some serious problems and change as a result. Huge amounts of animals (high percentage of mamals like ourselves and ocean life important to surviaval) are going extint. We're causing a horrid effect, and it's like smoking cigs. The world isn't going to stop and pay attention until they have cancer and are dying. Too late to save themselves they'll finally try anyway.
I want to be alive. If acid rain plunders the land and clouds black out the sun and all the life in the first mile of the ocean dies and we're left with mainly reptiles with only a few groups of humans spread out around the world, I want to live. I want to be someone important enough, with enough statis, and skills to live.
If Greg finds this he's laughing at me
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
oil spill
I know it'll be something about PMS or something, but I can't believe how close this world is to destruction and no one cares. I mean, sure there are a few groups here and there that care, but there are no real hard time movements. Some people don't even think we're in trouble. This latest oil spill is one more hit our oceans can't afford to take. The sea life is essential to our own survival. The fact is that we've been unable to find any other source of water on any other planet, what we have on Earth is corrupting and we have already run into many cases were there just isn't enough to get around. Our normal dumping and polluting of the ocean is bad enough, a painful attack lasting many years, but now we've upped the speed of this destruction.
This isn't the only thing, ask anyone, everyone knows that something is going to happen. Global warming, freaky weather, acid rain, ozone layer. Yet we don't stop. We don't stop.
Why doesn't anyone care?
We're just to content, it's like smoking cigs. There isn't anything you can see right this second, and if there is, it's been there for a while. Nothing seems to change quickly so you get used to the little changes here and there. No one says anything when a tooth turns black, a few wrinkles here and there. Then boom, you've got cancer and it's too late to do anything about it! Well wake up people, the world has cancer, and if we don't do something, anything, it's going to die.
Of course I look at my own life and wonder why I have the right to write this? I drink from plastic bottles, create a ton of waste and generally take advantage of the soft life I have available due to the carbon footprint I'm leaving. And thinking of changing almost seems un worth it because what difference will it make? That's the problem, our hippie grandparents had it right, we can make a difference. Can't we?
This isn't the only thing, ask anyone, everyone knows that something is going to happen. Global warming, freaky weather, acid rain, ozone layer. Yet we don't stop. We don't stop.
Why doesn't anyone care?
We're just to content, it's like smoking cigs. There isn't anything you can see right this second, and if there is, it's been there for a while. Nothing seems to change quickly so you get used to the little changes here and there. No one says anything when a tooth turns black, a few wrinkles here and there. Then boom, you've got cancer and it's too late to do anything about it! Well wake up people, the world has cancer, and if we don't do something, anything, it's going to die.
Of course I look at my own life and wonder why I have the right to write this? I drink from plastic bottles, create a ton of waste and generally take advantage of the soft life I have available due to the carbon footprint I'm leaving. And thinking of changing almost seems un worth it because what difference will it make? That's the problem, our hippie grandparents had it right, we can make a difference. Can't we?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Interesting things
I'm an interesting person, we all are, and I need to pay more attention to my issues. I was talking with a friend last night about one thing, and another friend today about something else and I've come to a realization. I am way too negative. A lot of it is the way I was brought up, always look for the worst case scenario so you can prepare for it. Worry isn't a wasted action if it helps you find the solution, etc etc. Though there is a benefit to being negative once and while, I think I've slipped into it to the point that I am rarely positive about things anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everything is doom and gloom, but my first thoughts are usually of the worst case. Why not consider the best first?
So in an attempt to better myself as a person and to stop annoying the hell out of B I am going to work on being more positive.
Every time I catch myself having a negative thought I shall correct it to something still realistic, but more positive.
I wonder if there is something in people that makes them pes or opp?
I wrote something neg here, so I erased it, lol... I will be able to do this, it might not be easy but possible. I guess I gotta stop playing with cigs too and just quit. I messed up yesterday and had like four... now today I'm having a really hard time of it, duh, my own fault... but that's ok because with my new and improved personal positive mindset quitting should be a breeze :-)
I really hope I don't become one of those people who lie to themselves about how easy everything is going to be.
So in an attempt to better myself as a person and to stop annoying the hell out of B I am going to work on being more positive.
Every time I catch myself having a negative thought I shall correct it to something still realistic, but more positive.
I wonder if there is something in people that makes them pes or opp?
I wrote something neg here, so I erased it, lol... I will be able to do this, it might not be easy but possible. I guess I gotta stop playing with cigs too and just quit. I messed up yesterday and had like four... now today I'm having a really hard time of it, duh, my own fault... but that's ok because with my new and improved personal positive mindset quitting should be a breeze :-)
I really hope I don't become one of those people who lie to themselves about how easy everything is going to be.
11 reasons you're
11 Reasons Why You Aren’t Getting Results
1. You Procrastinate. You keep putting things off. Either you start taking action, or you forever lay in peace.
2. You underestimate your goal. Achieving a goal is about getting from point A to B. People fail because they underestimate what it takes to get to A to B.
3. You spend more time defending your problems than taking action. Spend less time talking about your problems and use that time to think about solutions. Then act on them.
4. You're too enclosed in your own world. You don't venture out beyond your normal routine. You do the same things. It's no wonder you stagnate.
5. You're not working smart. You do the same thing over and over, even when you don't get results. Look at people who have achieved the same results before, and learn from them.
6. Avoidance (Fear). You avoid taking action because some of the things you have to do intimidate you. Face the fear and do it anyway.
7. You're easily distracted. You get distracted by things thrown in your way. Don't let anything (or anyone) distract you.
8. You over-complicate situations. Common among the neurotic perfectionists.
9. You give up too easily. You give up before you even get anywhere. Persevere, press on, and it's a matter of time before you reap the fruits of your labor.
10. You lose sight of your goals. You settle for less, forgetting the goals you once set. Reignite your vision and don't ever lose sight of it. It's your fuel to your success.
11. You're too stuck in your ways. You insist on doing things a certain way. You can only improve if you are willing to try new things.
*post taken from http://enlightr.com/life-hack/11-reasons-why-you-arent-getting-results
1. You Procrastinate. You keep putting things off. Either you start taking action, or you forever lay in peace.
2. You underestimate your goal. Achieving a goal is about getting from point A to B. People fail because they underestimate what it takes to get to A to B.
3. You spend more time defending your problems than taking action. Spend less time talking about your problems and use that time to think about solutions. Then act on them.
4. You're too enclosed in your own world. You don't venture out beyond your normal routine. You do the same things. It's no wonder you stagnate.
5. You're not working smart. You do the same thing over and over, even when you don't get results. Look at people who have achieved the same results before, and learn from them.
6. Avoidance (Fear). You avoid taking action because some of the things you have to do intimidate you. Face the fear and do it anyway.
7. You're easily distracted. You get distracted by things thrown in your way. Don't let anything (or anyone) distract you.
8. You over-complicate situations. Common among the neurotic perfectionists.
9. You give up too easily. You give up before you even get anywhere. Persevere, press on, and it's a matter of time before you reap the fruits of your labor.
10. You lose sight of your goals. You settle for less, forgetting the goals you once set. Reignite your vision and don't ever lose sight of it. It's your fuel to your success.
11. You're too stuck in your ways. You insist on doing things a certain way. You can only improve if you are willing to try new things.
*post taken from http://enlightr.com/life-hack/11-reasons-why-you-arent-getting-results
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
Hmmm, until I can figure our how to fix this just go look at the site. They are ... awesome
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
First entry
This blog isn't going to be meant for anything special. It's just somewhere I can blog about life, boring things, and odd thoughts.
I'm the type that has a lot of odd thoughts, but not the good kind that make everyone stop and go Hmmm, no instead I have the kind of odd thoughts that make people stop. That's it, just stop, possibly run away.
Let's see, what is there to know about me? Well, let's start with I'm twenty five years old, female. I'm very confused with my life right now, I'm questioning a lot of things that I've always just assumed. I have an interest in space but lack the talent in math to really develop that interest. I also enjoy the sea and oceans, but to be honest I'm one of those emotional type females and I find much of what is going on in the sea to be much too sad. For one quick example there is a pile of trash, mostly invisible molecules and plastics, floating in the ocean... this pile is larger than Texas. Picture that... Texas floating around in the sea. Made out of trash, and not good trash that will eventually break down, no, plastic that will be around long after we're gone.
I enjoy writing. I think I might even be ok at it. I used to think I was good, then I read some really good works and realized that I was ok. I still try to work on this skill and have dreams of one day being the Stephen King of my generation. It's a long shot, so I have a back up plan. I'm in school to be a teacher. I'm in my first year of college, have some catching up to do, but in four or five years I'll have a real job for life, instead of something I don't even want to admit to.
I've been poor a lot of my life and at this point I'm starting to realize that now it's my own fault. I might not have been able to control a lot of my life growing up, but that doesn't mean I can't now. and yes, there is a lot that is out of your mine or anyone's control. But that doesn't mean I can't prepare and be ready for when I can take control! lol, sorry, I'm on a fix my life kick...
Which brings me to cigs. After smoking since the age of 9 I have decided to quit and quit for real. Like most smokers, especially lifelong smokers, I find myself quitting dozens of times through the day, it just doesn't last. Ask any smoker, they've quit. They'll say they've quit before even while smoking one at the time. Well this is day four of that little experiment and I'm pleased to say I have yet to murder a single soul. That is thanks to God and my friends.
I'm the type that has a lot of odd thoughts, but not the good kind that make everyone stop and go Hmmm, no instead I have the kind of odd thoughts that make people stop. That's it, just stop, possibly run away.
Let's see, what is there to know about me? Well, let's start with I'm twenty five years old, female. I'm very confused with my life right now, I'm questioning a lot of things that I've always just assumed. I have an interest in space but lack the talent in math to really develop that interest. I also enjoy the sea and oceans, but to be honest I'm one of those emotional type females and I find much of what is going on in the sea to be much too sad. For one quick example there is a pile of trash, mostly invisible molecules and plastics, floating in the ocean... this pile is larger than Texas. Picture that... Texas floating around in the sea. Made out of trash, and not good trash that will eventually break down, no, plastic that will be around long after we're gone.
I enjoy writing. I think I might even be ok at it. I used to think I was good, then I read some really good works and realized that I was ok. I still try to work on this skill and have dreams of one day being the Stephen King of my generation. It's a long shot, so I have a back up plan. I'm in school to be a teacher. I'm in my first year of college, have some catching up to do, but in four or five years I'll have a real job for life, instead of something I don't even want to admit to.
I've been poor a lot of my life and at this point I'm starting to realize that now it's my own fault. I might not have been able to control a lot of my life growing up, but that doesn't mean I can't now. and yes, there is a lot that is out of your mine or anyone's control. But that doesn't mean I can't prepare and be ready for when I can take control! lol, sorry, I'm on a fix my life kick...
Which brings me to cigs. After smoking since the age of 9 I have decided to quit and quit for real. Like most smokers, especially lifelong smokers, I find myself quitting dozens of times through the day, it just doesn't last. Ask any smoker, they've quit. They'll say they've quit before even while smoking one at the time. Well this is day four of that little experiment and I'm pleased to say I have yet to murder a single soul. That is thanks to God and my friends.
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